This pretty much sums up what's going on in my life right now. Every word.It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly
"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth. He never grows tired or weary. No on can measure the depths of His understanding. He gives power to those who are tired and worn out; He offers strength to the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, young people stumble and fall. But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, the will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."
This pretty much sums up what's going on in my life right now. Every word.
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I went back to Windsor today. We started by going to an industrial area by the park to load up debris and take it to the dump. It's amazing the things you find when cleaning up debree. I found a barbie swimming pool that I'm sure one little girl will miss. I also found the jaw bone of a cow with the teeth still in tact. Eeeeew right?! It was interesting. So we headed to the dump...which is always a fun experience. .jpg)
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when the homeowner was there. She was devistated. If you look beyond the debris to the left you'll notice all that's left is the wall of her kitchen. She said, "I'm never coming back." It made me want to cry. I can't even imagine what these people are going through.
This has really opened my eyes and made me thankful for all the things I have. It makes me thankful for the little things that we so often take for granted. Things like the roof over our heads...litterally, being able to sleep in our own beds every night, having a kitchen to cook in, a living room to sit in, a bathroom to bathe in, etc. I found myself thanking God a lot today.
My heart, thoughts, and prayers go out to these people in Windsor.
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My eyes have been opened up to a lot this past week and it's been amazingly intense. I realized that, just like alchohol and drugs, love can be an addiction. It can be an addiction that causes you to make the same mistakes over and over again that end you up in the same situation time after time. I'm seeing these patterns in my own life and I realize that something's gotta change. I heard a quote once and I can't remember who it's by but it said, "Do what you've always done and you'll get what you've always gotten." That is at the forefront of my mind right now.
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I recently picked up the book "Battlefield of the Mind" by Joyce Myers and am amazed at how much it's put things into perspective. It's amazing to start thinking in such a way that we can control our thoughts. That we have a choice to be happy or sad, positive or negative and how the enemy uses that freedom to get what he wants. First of all, the devil is a liar. He seeps into our thoughts the day we are born and starts feeding us with lies and condemnation throughout our entire lives. We can't control our actions if we don't control our thoughts. If we don't have control of our thoughts, it only gives a foothold for the enemy to subconciously make us feel like we aren't good enough, like we don't measure up.
Recently, a friend of mine told me that he was praying for me and got an image of a character from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. (Yes, even I feel a bit odd talking about Jesus and Monty Python in the same paragraph.) He had an image of the knight who kept getting limbs cut off and coming back for more. "It's just a flesh wound!" "Come back and I'll bite your legs off!" Seriously though, he felt like God was revealing to me that I am trying to take all these things on myself. I'm trying to be "strong" and perservere. Well no one can perservere in isolation. I have a hard time asking for help, especially when I feel that I have nothing to give in return. I'm learning that, as the body of Christ, we are here to help each other and build eachother up, no matter what we get in return. I'm learning that, rather than isolating myself and trying to take it all on myself, I need to get out of my comfort zone and let people help me. I need to let God help me.
Habakkuk 3:19 says; "...walk and make progress upon my high places!" It says to walk. Not run. I think, sometimes, it's easy for us to want to hurry through healing and growth because we are so eagre for the outcome. This humbled me in a way that made me realize that there is a reason these things take time. In this book it says, "pride is the "beast" that will consume us if we recieve too much freedom too quickly." It then goes on to say, "That way, we appreciate our freedom more; we realize it is truly a gift from God and not something we can make happen in our own strength."
I remember my father used to always say, "Argue for your weakness and it's yours." I used to hate it when he said that. It is so true though. We can sit and go on about how horrible things are and how nothing goes our way and blah blah blah, but the more you think it, the more it will come to be. Throughout the first few chapters, the book refers back to Proverbs 23 that says, "for as he thinks in his heart, so is he..." The kind of life we lead reflects the way we think. If we think negatively, our lives will be negative. If we think positively, we will be able to have a positive outlook on whatever comes our way.
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